Monday, March 4, 2019

Successful Effective Parenting [!?]

  • Don’t argue - The best way not to lose an argument is not to argue

  • Reading MANY parent issues, reflecting on MANY years of observing and guiding human performance, a major conclusion:

  • Ask questions - - ASK, DON’T TELL.

  • You ARE striving to build a teenager who THINKS, aren’t you?

  • Think of the [sports] coach screaming at their player on the sidelines after a mistake – what does that player learn?  VERY little.  Guiding, instructing for the next opportunity is the key.  WE ALL make mistakes – don’t act like you don’t.

  • Oh, and BTW – you ARE your teen’s coach!!

  • Ask FIRST – that will always give you greater clarity

  • You are a victim of our society – 80% of us DON’T LISTEN to what’s being said – we’re too focused on preparing our reply.  DON’T be one of them.

  • Ask clarifying questions before responding [works in business – why not home?]

  •  Know why? Because what we HEAR is always filtered or altered by our internal, mental expectations – in other words, what we hear – from our kids – may not be what they meant!

  • Strive for consensus - [NOT acquiescence]

  • Be WILLING to say “I was wrong”

  • And if you think this is being a wuss, think about the best and worst boss you ever worked for.  I’m betting the best was the one who listened, valued your opinion – and led you both to consensus.  And the worst was hard, harsh, demanding, authoritarian – and completely unskilled in employee development.  And your kids, for a few brief years, are like ‘employees.’


GOOD LUCK!! 😊
 

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