- Don’t argue - The best way not to lose an argument is not to argue
- Reading MANY parent issues, reflecting on MANY years of observing and guiding human performance, a major conclusion:
- Ask questions - - ASK, DON’T TELL.
- You ARE striving to build a teenager who THINKS, aren’t you?
- Think of the [sports] coach screaming at their player on the sidelines after a mistake – what does that player learn? VERY little. Guiding, instructing for the next opportunity is the key. WE ALL make mistakes – don’t act like you don’t.
- Oh, and BTW – you ARE your teen’s coach!!
- Ask FIRST – that will always give you greater clarity
- You are a victim of our society – 80% of us DON’T LISTEN to what’s being said – we’re too focused on preparing our reply. DON’T be one of them.
- Ask clarifying questions before responding [works in business – why not home?]
- Know why? Because what we HEAR is always filtered or altered by our internal, mental expectations – in other words, what we hear – from our kids – may not be what they meant!
- Strive for consensus - [NOT acquiescence]
- Be WILLING to say “I was wrong”
- And if you think this is being a wuss, think about the best and worst boss you ever worked for. I’m betting the best was the one who listened, valued your opinion – and led you both to consensus. And the worst was hard, harsh, demanding, authoritarian – and completely unskilled in employee development. And your kids, for a few brief years, are like ‘employees.’
GOOD LUCK!! 😊
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