MOTIVATION’S THE CURE!!!!

Most all of us have an achievement hurdle. And be assured, your teenager, [probably!] as well.  Could be a learning or reading disability, avoidance, denial, negativity, introversion, depression, anger, lost motivation, fighting self-discipline, emotional or psychological impediments, procrastination or avoiding challenges, ADHD or something no one is even aware of.

For many, there is probably no cure or fix.  However, experience has shown - one of the most powerful strengthening tools in disarming or diminishing those issues – even drugs, alcohol and even suicide - is MOTIVATION.

I instantly hear disagreement – I understand - - but I didn’t say ‘cure.’  For the hurdles I listed, there are virtually no ‘cures’ – only helping strategies.  This is one of the best.

How frequently do we see stories of stars, champions, leaders in so many fields:  entertainment, sports, business, government leadership and politics – how often they’ve overcome impediments from the list above – with only one tool: MOTIVATION!!

Let’s not be deluded – motivation won’t cure those issues – but it will strengthen and ignite your teen’s inner drive to overpower those limitations and achieve far more of their true capacity!!

One valuable lesson learned from Carol Dweck’s book MINDSET is the concept of “NOT YET.”  If we accept the old paradigm of ‘HE JUST CAN’T…’ that’s the Closed mindset – now research-documented to be ONLY A MINDSET, NOT A FACT!!!!!  If, after a failure, we replace ‘failure’ with – NOT YET the whole equation changes.

Just FYI - most ADHD teens with whom I’ve worked became aware that they will have to develop and build coping mechanisms to succeed at life and THEY ARE DOING SO!

So the question becomes where does that motivation come from?

We’ll discuss that in our next posting – planned for tomorrow.  STAY TUNED…

In the meantime, if you have other issues or questions or challenges with your teen, please message me –and we‘ll discuss! CoachSteve@Launch-Your-Life.com

DEFEATING the BOREDOM of DISCIPLINE

NO ONE I know LIKES DISCIPLINE – and yet, it’s acknowledged as one of the most crucial, core elements of ALL success – whether it’s basketball, gymnastics [love that Simone Biles? Imagine the hours she’s spent in the gym practicing over and over and over.!] – or business and professional.

In business and in sales – the best performers and achievers spend many hours thinking, prepping and practicing/ rehearsing. I had a surgery a few years ago – I asked the dr. how many times he’d done this kind… he replied “about 800” That gave me even greater confidence and trust!

We all look up to champions – admire them – but when it comes to putting in the time and the repetitions in our chosen field, 92% of people drop out.

One of the most powerful traits you can build into your teen is the habit of self-discipline!! But then, you – and they – will soon and quickly hit the BOREDOM problem. Doing a million sit-ups just gets boring!! It’s been said that it takes 10,000 repetitions to master anything. NOT TRUE – although it’s probably close. The source who came up with this concept explains that it came from a less scientific and precise measurement. So 10,000 reps is not gospel – but you get the idea!

Want to know how to overcome the boredom factor and make discipline and repetition MORE ENJOYABLE and ENTERTAINING?

5 WAYS to STRENGTHEN, BUILD YOUR TEEN’S SELF-DISCIPLINE:

1. Visualize 2 things: (1) the end result benefit fulfilled; (2) performing the repetitions WITH A SMILE!

2. Remind yourself of the benefit gained through this discipline [also gets boring after the 15th time]

3. Refrigerator chart, tracking daily performance [even/ also good for parents!!]

4. A supportive partner [NOT a critical one]

5. Identify and focus on “Finer, finer levels of detail” - drawn from the work of FLOW, the Psychology of Optimal Experience

• getting a little bit better – measurably(!) each time

• – each set or each day or each week, etc.

• – gives the user something to target and go after,

• Engages his/her mindset more actively

And if they fall short, such as (o) only 8 of 10 reps or (o) 20 of 30 minutes homework or studying or similar, give them positive credit – don’t criticize. THEY KNOW when they fell short – you should emphasize the positive!

 

And if you’d like to know more about our teen success coaching programs to build improved discipline and other success traits, applicable for ALL teens, regardless of current level of achieving – or not – contact us at CoachSteve@Launch-Your-Life.com 

 

"WE HAVE COME TOGETHER … AND REALLY BECOME A FAMILY,"

"We really focused on working together because we know that we don't have the size we did last year."  These are quotes from a high school athlete and team leader. These are the lessons of high school sports – worth learning, practicing and applying THROUGHOUT life.

Get your teen involved, if s/he fits or desires. Of course you can’t force your teen into something they dislike or disdain – but encourage or influence your teen – or find another/ different option or opportunity to learn these life skills – beyond the classroom.

I was on football and track teams – and still have recollections and friendships from those days – and the only things we remember were the good things!

One other excellent option is theater.

With total respect for other school activities, these two develop life-long skills and traits – while most others don’t.

Both sports and theater require try-outs, possible rejection, not being ‘the star,’ learning to be a supporting character or role, persevering, advancing/ growing into a larger, more important role – most of which are simply not available to be learned in the classroom.

Are there harsh, even unwanted, unfair lessons they might learn?  Unfair coaches, policies, etc.  Yes – but that also is a life lesson, leading to the need to build RESILIENCE – rebounding from and overcoming even unfair defeats.

If you’d like to discuss – or even learn more about our success coaching programs for teens, email me at CoachSteve@Launch-Your-Life.com! 

YOUR TEEN – add 20 CENTS

Paradigm? Pair-a-dime [20 cents]?  Speak English, stop with the fancy words!!

I’ve loved the word Paradigm since high school. We had a math teacher whom we learned to appreciate. He introduced us to the word paradigm LONG before the rest of the world began using it [no, I won’t say how old I am].  But it’s been a recurring and enlightening word and concept in my work and learning experience ’lo these many years.  And here’s why that’s important to YOU!

A paradigm is the framework within which we interpret and understand our world. In math, we usually use base 10 as our paradigm for counting [1-10].  In computer programing, it’s two: ON/ OFF or YES/ NO.  In the US, we speak English – in the UK, they speak English – but it’s different!

The word Paradigm has so much explanatory meaning in so many areas.  One of the secrets of changing or improving ANYTHING is to look at it from a different perspective - a new paradigm. For example, humor is funny because the comedian changes the expected Paradigm - the punchline – against YOUR expectation.

In exactly the same way, your teenager does things that make no sense to you - or worse! And yet if you try, struggle, change your perspective, see it from their paradigm - you will almost always walk away highly informed and illuminated!

In the work of Carol Dweck [‘MINDSET’] – she moved us away from the belief that – “if I didn’t learn it the first time, I can’t” toward a different paradigm - “I haven’t learned it YET – but I will!” 

One of the paradigms I see referenced CONSTANTLY regarding teens is “I told him to do (something) - and he didn’t do it – and now look where he is [or isn’t].” 

Think about that paradigm for a minute: “I TOLD him.”  And it didn’t work!  How much longer are you going to TELL, TELL, TELL – when it isn’t working – until YOU change your paradigm? 

I’ve said it before – here it comes again:

Wouldn’t it be great to UNDERSTAND their thinking?  How do ya think you might find that out?  What if you ASKED a QUESTION!?

To enhance, accelerate and strengthen your understanding of your teen, ask a question or two – unbiased, not challenging – just wondering – to better understand their thoughts and thinking!!  You WILL be enlightened!!

If you want or hope to breed a teenager who THINKS, why shut him/ her down when they DO think?  ASK a question: “What do you mean? I don’t understand – help me to see what you’re thinking – explain, please.”

Then, use one of the most powerful communication skills we’ve got: LISTEN!

On a different paradigm-shift topic:  CREATIVITY: as you consider the possibility of your teen advancing up the ladder of success throughout life, be ASSURED that one of the most fundamental and powerful traits is creativity.  Doing something better, faster, more efficiently - or inventing something new are the things that will speed his/her trip ‘up the ladder’ - - and they’re ALL instances of creativity. 

And what IS creativity?  It’s establishing or opening a NEW PARADIGM.  Creativity is defined as two or more ideas not previously combined, connected, blended, considered together.

FYI – the classic creativity/ new paradigm question is “WHY NOT?”

Bottom line?  Until life is perfect, Change is needed.  And change necessitates new paradigms.  

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