IS YOUR TEENAGER LAZY?

 

WELL, IT'S YOUR FAULT!

Well, probably not - but DO think about these factors:

·       All humans are naturally achievers and therefore motivated.

·       Teenagers may not be motivated by what YOU want or think they should be – which leads to an excellent communication improvement strategy: ASK, DON'T TELL.

·       ASK, DON’T TELL has proven to be a very good strategy to enhance communication with teenagers and greatly diminish arguments.

Very simply, you TELL them nothing. Your only reply is to ASK a question – a simple, low-key information-gathering, NON-sermonizing question, like “that’s interesting. Please tell me more” – or “I’m not sure I understand – please help me to see [or understand].”  

If you argue with them – you’ve lost, even if you think you won.

Don’t ask those questions in rapid-fire fashion – do it gently, slowly, be sincerely interested.

What you will find is greater harmony with your teen, much better understanding of their thinking – and - by using ASK DON’T TELL – if you listen deeply, you will almost always learn more and more about what’s on their mind è what motivates – and de-motivates them!

As noted at the beginning, everyone is motivated – we just need to find out what.

In our work coaching teens toward success, we’ve found that, once they’re focused on THEIR GOAL(S), very often, they quickly find the need to intensify their efforts toward academic performance.

And if you keep telling them the same thing over and over – without the results you want, [great quote I saw on the internet] – “If you keep telling them repeatedly and they don’t do what you want, WHO’S the slow learner?” 

Basic reminder: The best motivation – the strongest – comes from within – inside their hopes, goals, aspirations, not from someone – anyone – trying to motivate them.  Great quote from a championship football coach: “If I have to motivate you, you’re on the wrong team.”

Comments, questions, even disagreements? CoachSteve@Teens2Success.com