Committed to Average!? How Dare You!!??

I GUARANTEE that your teen is easily capable of improving their gpa by 10 points!  GUARANTEE it!!  As a former school psychologist and special ed director, I’ve seen, known and worked with kids – a lot like yours.  I’ve never met your son or daughter – but I stand by those words. 

Did you know that 86% of people are committed to being average? It’s true!  Those figures are derived from the numbers of people who QUIT on their goals, as well as job performance and salary increments NOT earned. 

From one angle, that’s to be expected – 90-95% of what we do is habit, coupled with that other strangling, restricting, paralyzing human tendency to RATIONALIZE – to explain away why we didn’t do what we said we would.  But the worst part? 

In very large measure, our kids will achieve very close to the level we did - that same AVERAGE level!!

NO ONE WANTS TO BE AVERAGE – but most people are.  Know why?  They set goals, fail after the first or second obstacle, lose motivation or faith in themselves – and go back to “sit on the bench.”  Recall all the empty explanations you’ve heard around people giving up on setting New Years’ resolutions.

If you could find a way or system or approach to EASILY overcome AVERAGENESS, would you use it?  Or allow it to motivate and re-motivate your teen – daily, gently, tactfully, supportively?

Our approach WORKS, based on 35-plus years of coaching success and 150 years of advisory board input at Launch-Your-Life!

The approach is:

1. Dreams – brainstorm, set them, the filter down to:
2. Goals – 1, 2 or 3, for now
3. A plan – long-term, monthly, daily, weekly [5-8 minutes/day]
4. Implementation, follow-up – NEED a 3^rd party, such as parent or coach.

It sounds simple – and it is – yet 86% of people – teens or their parents – will drop the ball – for the exact reasons listed above.  In the last 25 years, one of the fastest growing professions is business coaching.  Know why?  Because it helps people with lofty aspirations but who succumb to those human foibles… - to move dramatically toward their beautiful, big goals.  We adapted what we’d learned and known from working with many, many clients across the US and Europe – to teen success.  And after 5-plus years, it WORKS! 

Investing just 8 minutes a day in our process and program can elevate your student’s grade point average and life success by at least 10%!

If you’d like to discuss and learn more about our process – YES, you can borrow it – and easily accelerate your student’s performance, happiness and reduced stress – please email us at CoachSteve@Launch-Your-Life.com for a free, no commitment consult to identify and advance yours and your teen’s goals and dreams.

Is Your teenager lagging behind in school (or life?)

EVERY teen has problems!  [you probably knew that!]

Some of those problems will just go away, while some continue and grow.  If you’d like to discuss your teenager’s issues or challenges or problems, call Launch-Your-Life [(518) 475-1538 or CoachSteve@Launch-Your-Life.com ].  Our team and advisory board has been in this field for a cumulative total of 150 years – WE CAN HELP.  The biggest issue is getting past the expectation that ‘it’ll just go away.’ Often times, no coaching is needed, just a little parental encouragement.  But sometimes, it WON’T! And too often, it’s been festering for a long time.  Sometimes, with a little well-directed coaching, your teenager will far exceed even what THEY thought they could do!  We’re in the happiness business – theirs and yours!  Call us!!

Typical and common teen problems:

• Frequently, easily distracted
• Doesn’t care
• Rebellious
• Getting into Drugs and/or Alcohol and/or Sex
• Behaviors and reactions are Unpredictable
• Poor decision-making
• Loss of focus - academics/school
• Little or no desire FOR ANYTHING

 Call or email: (518) 475-1538 or  CoachSteve@Launch-Your-Life.com

Know the Score!!

As the new school year gains speed, I’d encourage you to encourage your student(s) to KNOW what their grades are, often and NOW.  Once in a while, I have some great thoughts.  Here’s one: it is impossible to improve anything without a number - golf, bowling, weight loss, etc.   I am currently in the early stages of collaborating on an initiative called Grade$Count.  One of the foundational elements is encouraging kids – and working with their school – to have easy access and knowledge of their grades.  Far too often, I’ve been working with a teen – and ask him/her how their grades are – and a disturbingly high percentage of time, they don’t know.

Set the stage now – work with their teachers to let them know you want your teen/ their student to know what their grades are, so that they can intervene as quickly as possible, if and when needed.  And frankly, ‘knowing the score’ almost always inspires anyone to want to do a little bit better! 

So maybe, when you and they see those grades, take a minute or two to ask – “How do you feel about that?”  - PAUSE, WAIT FOR REPLY – then, as it may fit – say “is there anything I can help with to help you build it?”  It’s a subtle way to show that you’re paying attention, want to help, and encourage their focus and attention.

Oh, one more thing – do this REGULARLY. 

The more and earlier you know and can guide your student – the less harsh you will ever need to be.

Keep score – and succeed!

On another note: Harshness breeds the same

There’s one on-line post I see frequently regarding dealing with teenagers in which the writer (“expert”) is constantly advising parents in applying harsh, overpowering techniques to address bad behaviors – refusal to do homework, disrespect, etc. – but his approach is ALWAYS very harsh.  While I can’t disagree with most of what he says, it just seems to me that most young people are inherently pretty good kids – they’re just searching and exploring alternate behavioral choices – and need just a little re-direction, guidance and reinforcement.

How will school be different this year?

“Most people lead lives of quiet desperation.” Henry David Thoreau

To avoid a school year of quiet desperation, why not make this your student’s most successful year ever?  To accomplish that, some change – maybe a little, maybe a lot – is necessary:  

·        What will be different about school this year for your teenager?

·        Will they study more?

·        Will they manage their time better?

·        Does your student have a vision for success that motivates them every day?

If you answered no to any of the above, there are several ways you can help your teenager make this year their best year. 

Homework does not have to be a daily battle, but you should enforce a few rules.

·        Turn off the TV, but music is fine.  Background music may help keep your child more focused.

·        Texting and homework do not mix.  Push alerts on your child’s cell phone will pull their focus away, so have them put their phone out of ear shot during homework hours.

·        Define a study space that works for your child and the rest of the family.  Maybe it’s your teenagers’ room, or the kitchen table.

Good study habits are created, not born.

·        Maintaining a regular schedule serves all family members best.   It helps to build good study and lifelong successful habits.

·        Study in intervals.  It’s hard to focus on any one thing for hours at a time.  Depending on your teen, a 5-minute break every half hour will increase performance.

·        Avoid cramming.  Most students know well in advance when tests are scheduled.  Reading chapters, taking notes, or rewriting notes taken during class, over a few days, will help with retention. 

How do you handle a student who constantly avoids doing school work?  There’s a reason they avoid it –and it’s valuable for you to explore and discuss that with them.  Could be a bad past experience – either with the subject or a teacher. Could be that’s it just hard for them! Could be distraction by the need/desire to talk with friends, get on line, etc.  Address and resolve these issues, amicably and consensually. 

A word of caution: DO NOT LECTURE or “TELL” them what to do or how they should see things.  Be assured – this will ‘shut them down’ attitudinally.  Discuss issues and help enlighten them.  Use QUESTIONS and questioning, and a few dramatic pauses.  [in other words, when you ask a question and receive a negative, even hostile response – or no response or “I don’t know” – sit quietly with no facial expression.

One popular teen response is “I don’t know.”  Don’t let them get away with it.  Remain on the subject and or target.  Wait for an answer.  If none is coming, ask another question. 

One of the best questions, asked in various forms, is “what did you learn from that?”  Every defeat or failure or setback has a learning lesson inside it.  Ask, explore and identify it!    

While I’m not a huge fan of his, one of Dr. Phil’s best questions is “how’s that working for you?”  HOWEVER – that’s actually somewhat sarcastic – so AVOID it.  Ask gentler questions like “what results have you gotten in the past?” – or similar.

Finally – maintain regular follow-up – weekly, may every other day – and strive to support and maintain that regular schedule referenced above.

MAKE IT A GREAT YEAR!