DEAR(est) PARENTS - - - (!?)

You are probably now in the midst of the toughest, weirdest, most problematic time of your and your teenagers life!

Here's a strategy to occupy and build your teen’s future during these challenging or possibly boring days – to STRENGTHEN your teen’s future!!

The two most crucial life traits your teen SHOULD possess are Resilience and Resourcefulness.

Take advantage of this OPPORTUNE time [yes, it is!] to build on their existing resourcefulness by encouraging their creativity!!!

That creativity will be their ticket to great success in life!!! 

Any employer, any business owner or manager is ALWAYS looking for people with new and different ways to do anything at/ on their job or business. If your teen has that capacity, that will lead to raises and promotions.

Getting your student redirected and focused on something more positive and constructive [NOW!] can only be a good thing for your time together as well as their thinking skills.

Use this possible array of questions and any others you like to guide, enhance and evoke their thinking: 

 ·     What do you think really created this pandemic?

·       What could have been done to prevent it?

·       What should we do to prevent its ever occurring again?

·       What inventions do we need, to prevent the future need for

o   social distancing and sheltering in place and

o   cancelling school and

·        creating, finding, optimizing alternative learning modes?

·         What other or different changes to society or school – or anything – do you think we need?

Then, use second- and even third-level follow-up questions leading to exploration and wondering, even pilot-testing their ideas and replies.   

Always have "Why...?" as your fallback or further question: "I wonder WHY that didn't work" - or "I wonder WHY that will work?" - or "HOW we can make sure that works [or sells, on Shark Tank]?" – “What if this approach fails – HOW ELSE might we overcome it?”

It is TRULY these 2^nd and 3^rd level questions which will lead to ‘the gold’ – much like 10,000 attempts by Thomas Edison, to find a light bulb filament that worked!

Accept almost anything they say, even rejection and hostility. Allow that, [remain calm] and ask a follow-up question such as... “Tell me more – I’m not sure I follow that yet…”

The goal is Resilience and Resourcefulness – to build a winning and successful teen AND ADULT!!

Soldier on, powerful and nurturing parent!! 

RETREAT, REFINE - STRENGTHEN!!

This nationwide ‘shutdown’ has some pretty wide-ranging impact on families!! 

One thought you might consider: much like a corporate retreat, why not take this time to ‘step back’- survey the horizon of your family, ask their input – REGARDLESS of age.  I LOVE the idea of asking a 2-year-old these questions. You will probably get some great laughs AND some wonderful insights.

Be sincere and as basic as needed – but draw out their thoughts of ‘How are we doing as a family and as your parent?’   And LISTEN!

PREDICTABLY, some will think you’re wacky, or you’re ‘up to something.’  Weather the storm, assure them of your sincerity – and maybe ask some leading questions –

• maybe about meals or
• bedtime or
• school or
• [my favorite] – ‘how could I do better as your parent?’ 
• and, if you haven’t said it before – how much you love them but “boy, this parenting is hard work – “I get so tired” – and pause – and wait for their reply

 Let them say anything – and listen. I GUARANTEE you will learn things you’d never expected.

Some of your kids – maybe even your partner – will think this is a silly waste of time.  [IT’S NOT].  I sit here and ponder what any downsides of a family retreat might be – I can’t see any.  Even if it erupts with anger, that’s mostly venting – which you may or may not have heard before – but again – great information!!

You may want to open with some ground rules – like – “no personal attacks,” or – “If you leave the room in anger, you must come back w/in 5 minutes”  and others you might consider.  

BTW, remind yourself that any parent who is unwilling to acknowledge to their kids that they may have made a mistake is a setup for failure. Be willing and open to that but mostly be willing and open to improve as one-on-one parents and as a family unit.

Maybe this is one outgrowth of this pandemic that will be a positive!  Who knows?

Go for it, valiant parent!

BEYOND OUR COMPREHENSION…!?

We have seen so many unimaginable events in our lifetime: attack on our shores from afar [Sept 11], extreme security precautions – seeming constant fear of terrorism everywhere,   massive weather-caused devastation - tornadoes, hurricanes, flooding, earthquakes, – and now, a world pandemic. UNBELIEVABLE!!  - I mean, beyond anything we could even imagine!

And yet, despite all that, our kids, our teens, continue to evolve toward becoming an adult.  [we can’t stop them!]  

And here’s the issue: as you well know, YOU are their predominant role model.  You always have been, you always will be.

So how YOU react to the coronavirus pandemic is IMPORTANT!!

Two things to keep in mind

·        How you react [how they see you react] 

·        What can we LEARN from this?  

1.     How you react [how they see you react]

·                 Extreme?

·                 Frustration? 

·                 Pointing blame?

·                 No clue what to do?

·                Blame gov’t,

·               It’s someone else’s fault,

·              “why don’t ‘they’ do something,”  

·               __________ [fill in your own_].

2.     What can we LEARN from this?  

It’s not my intent to suggest what that might be – that’s your turf, your area.  But if your kids are the future, encouraging them to THINK, wonder, discuss, brainstorm, - will be very important – for them – now, next year, next decade, etc.

                           

Probably equally as valuable: DISCUSS it w/ them: how you feel, how you react, how THEY feel, what you say to others, what you don’t or won’t say to others…

Again, your teen will model you in the future…!!

Soldier on, valiant, unflappable, indomitable parent!!!

WE BELIEVE:

1.      Success is intricately intertwined with happiness

2.      Pursuing happiness by pursuing SUCCESS works best

3.      As others have said – EVERY TEEN has some great talent

4.      EVERY teen has MUCH untapped capacity and talent

5.      Conditioning works CONSTANTLY – be conscious and aware of what YOU are conditioning

6.      All kids/ teens are fundamentally GOOD!

7.      Our role is to find and/or build that goodness.

8.      Negativity only breeds negativity – reflect on that, please

9.      It’s up to all of US – to build, strengthen, educate AND continually support teenager’s success and happiness – EVERY SINGLE DAY.

10. We never quit – WILL YOU?

Related/ Supporting

• Our only goal is building success into teenagers
• Success is NOT monetary nor materialistic
• We’ve been misled – or misled ourselves – that “everything will be OK – schools or society will take care of everything.”  - NOT TRUE!!!
•  If a teen isn't GOOD, they were conditioned to that – WE MUST search for the cause
• Failure [?] – only means they haven’t arrived yet 
• We live, pursue and activate these tenets with every element of Launch-Your-Life