#Teen, #High-School, #College #Success!

We all hope for it, wish for it, would do anything to help our teenagers achieve it!

And when we talk about success, many of us quickly become quite philosophical and say “It’s not just money.” And of course, that’s right.  SUCCESS surely includes family life, interpersonal relationships, good health - but be assured that a frustrated, unfulfilled career WILL reverberate, permeate and diminish one’s life.

Let’s first recognize that career success is not simply from knowledge – but rather if and how that knowledge is USED.  If the most skilled surgeon in the world doesn’t USE those skills, s/he is as average as the rest of us.

But wait - - average?  What was Garrison Keilor’s line about Lake Wobegon – “where all the men are handsome and all the children are above average.”

Many times, average [or above or below] is defined by an IQ test score.  However, those tests measure and predict only ONE THING: school success.  As soon as a student leaves school, IQ scores become (relatively) meaningless. We all know countless stories of people who couldn’t read well – or didn’t possess some other school skill – but who achieved great things in business or science or entertainment, etc.   Henry Ford said he wanted to surround himself with people smarter than him – and he was clearly very successful.

It’s UNTRUE that everyone’s created equal.  We’re not!  We each have differing strengths, weaknesses, talents, shortcomings, etc.  We’ve certainly seen MUCH unexpected talent on TV shows in recent years.  So – one key element is to discover what your child’s talent is.

Young people (and others) are sometimes cautioned about pursuing a goal for which they aren’t “talented.”  I’d suggest - let’s let him/her pursue that goal, learn what’s needed to achieve it, see how dedicated or committed s/he is – and regardless of natural talent – go for it!  Worst case scenario is that they’ll learn about themselves.  BEST case?  They may become the world’s best musician OR teacher OR engineer OR coach OR heart surgeon, etc., unless they were guided away by someone’s well-intentioned advice not to pursue that goal.

Fact is, Daniel Goleman in his seminal book EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE documented the fact that the greatest predictor and driver of success is how one handles defeats – it’s NOT intelligence, talent, level OR source of education nor genetics.  The deciding trait is whether s/he handles defeat or failure in a non-emotional, learn-from-this-experience and try again manner.

In coming weeks, we will explore how to strengthen and accelerate your child’s success.

And of course, please feel free to comment on these thoughts.