Parents: Time To Check Your Student’s Scores

As the fall semester comes to a close, parents should want to know: do your son’s or daughter’s school achievements so far this year reflect what s/he is truly capable of? 

And if they do not, what did he/she learn about themselves?  If they worked hard and didn’t achieve the level they expected, what did they learn, upon reflection?  About themselves, about their teachers, about their habits – time management and control, self-discipline, effectiveness of studying, etc.?

“A failure is a mistake you DIDN’T learn from” is one of several similar expressions conveying the same message: LEARN something from your setbacks!  One excellent insight in recent years comes from the work of Carol Dweck in her book MINDSET.  The key learning I emphasize here is to learn from our mistakes – or our ‘almosts.’ DON’T let your student walk away having given up and quit.  Value and learn from the experience.

All teachers and college professors have a duty and responsibility to at least be available and clear when students ask “how am I doing/ what could I or should I do better or differently?”  Find out – have your teenager/student ask “how am I doing?” And be sure that what you learn or hear is worthwhile, useful and applicable, in order to make changes in how to approach that class.

SUGGESTIONS:

·         Discuss with your teenager how s/he feels they could strengthen their learning.

·         Ask – what do you think you could or should do differently?  [do not be surprised if they simply don’t know – it happens!]

·         DO NOT accept “work harder” – it’s such an empty phrase. 

·         Does “work harder” mean grit your teeth, ‘knuckle down’ or spend longer hours with the books – with NO CHANGE in how you study? [of course not]

·         Don’t be accusatory – be supportive – act like a team member or coach, not ‘the boss or team owner.’

·         Most teachers and schools now post homework or study assignments on-line.  Check them WITH your student. 

·         Be sure you AND your student knows and understands what’s expected.

·         There are many sources of ‘How To Study’ found on the internet.  Search and locate one or two, then USE and APPLY them!

·         Break tasks down smaller and smaller.  This is THE SECRET to almost all success!!  Procrastination and avoidance arise – almost exclusively – because the task is too large.

·         Have your student/child (o) set, (o) adhere to and (o) follow a schedule for larger assignments.

·         When it comes to larger projects, earlier is always better. 

·         Post and USE a wall calendar – the larger the better.

·         As soon as a project is assigned, GUIDE your student through a timeline of sub-tasks to complete it, with time left over.

·         Talk through – IN DETAIL – specific tasks, actions and choices they will need to make. 

·         Research regarding the teenage brain is awesome and scary.  The lack of full development of the executive or management part of the brain leads to poor, unbalanced and immediate-gratification decisions, not done maliciously – they just ‘didn’t realize…

·         Bottom line? Be inquisitive, supportive, repetitive/persistent and POSITIVE. 

·         Don’t be over-protective – but guide learning from every defeat – and look for GREAT success in your child!