“Most
people lead lives of quiet desperation.” Henry David Thoreau
To
avoid a school year of quiet desperation, why not make this your student’s most
successful year ever? To accomplish that,
some change – maybe a little, maybe a lot – is necessary:
·
What will be different about school this
year for your teenager?
·
Will they study more?
·
Will they manage their time better?
·
Does your student have a vision for
success that motivates them every day?
If
you answered no to any of the above, there are several ways you can help your
teenager make this year their best year.
Homework
does not have to be a daily battle, but you should enforce a few rules.
·
Turn off the TV,
but music is fine. Background music may help keep your child more
focused.
·
Texting and
homework do not mix. Push alerts on your child’s cell phone will pull
their focus away, so have them put their phone out of ear shot during homework
hours.
·
Define a study
space that works for your child and the rest of the family. Maybe it’s
your teenagers’ room, or the kitchen table.
Good
study habits are created, not born.
·
Maintaining a
regular schedule serves all family members best. It helps to build
good study and lifelong successful habits.
·
Study in
intervals. It’s hard to focus on any one thing for hours at a time.
Depending on your teen, a 5-minute break every half hour will increase
performance.
·
Avoid
cramming. Most students know well in advance when tests are
scheduled. Reading chapters, taking notes, or rewriting notes taken
during class, over a few days, will help with retention.
How
do you handle a student who constantly avoids doing school work? There’s
a reason they avoid it –and it’s valuable for you to explore and discuss that
with them. Could be a bad past
experience – either with the subject or a teacher. Could be that’s it just hard
for them! Could be distraction by the need/desire to talk with friends, get on
line, etc. Address and resolve these
issues, amicably and consensually.
A
word of caution: DO NOT LECTURE or “TELL” them what to do or how they should
see things. Be assured – this will ‘shut
them down’ attitudinally. Discuss issues
and help enlighten them. Use QUESTIONS
and questioning, and a few dramatic pauses.
[in other words, when you ask a question and receive a negative, even
hostile response – or no response or “I don’t know” – sit quietly with no
facial expression.
One
popular teen response is “I don’t know.”
Don’t let them get away with it. Remain
on the subject and or target. Wait for
an answer. If none is coming, ask another
question.
One
of the best questions, asked in various forms, is “what did you learn from
that?” Every defeat or failure or
setback has a learning lesson inside it.
Ask, explore and identify it!
While
I’m not a huge fan of his, one of Dr. Phil’s best questions is “how’s that working for
you?” HOWEVER – that’s actually somewhat
sarcastic – so AVOID it. Ask gentler
questions like “what results have you gotten in the past?” – or similar.
Finally
– maintain regular follow-up – weekly, may every other day – and strive to
support and maintain that regular schedule referenced above.
MAKE
IT A GREAT YEAR!
