Pride of achievement is THE most
powerful motivator influencing human performance. [for dogs, it’s probably treats or affection.]
Pride of performance is especially
important for teens as they and their self-perception grow. They waver between [believing] they know
everything – against doubting and questioning themselves, their parents and the
world. So building a resilient self-image at this age can only strengthen their
future. How does a parent begin to build
or strengthen their teen’s self-pride?
We usually think of three kinds of
motivation: FEAR, INCENTIVE, and PRIDE of ACHIEVEMENT. Experience and even empirical evidence shows
that Pride of Performance is THE most powerful!! So – let’s use it! [FYI - There are spiritual or Biblical
references to pride as one of seven deadly sins. This is NOT that kind of pride.]
One approach we find that begins
influence motivational initiative is to invite teens to identify one thing they
would take pride in achieving “tomorrow or this week.” “Billy/ Joey/ Bobbi, what ONE thing could you
accomplish this week that you would feel really good about?” Sometimes, you’ll receive a sarcastic reply…
Pause, wait them out – say nothing but don’t walk away. Make it obvious “we’re not done.”
When you get an answer - DO NOT
JUDGE. If it’s important or meaningful
to the person, that’s sufficient. What
also can happen – if or in a group – is that someone else – a peer – may say
“oh, c’mon, Joey, that’s lame, who are you kidding?” And if Joey is sincere, he’ll defend his
goal. And if it IS a weak, limp,
‘minor-league’ goal – he’ll replace it. For
a parent, let it go. DO NOT critique or
judge. They’ll come around soon
enough.
Now on to the keys:
1.
As days and weeks continue, invite and
request that they progressively increase what they’re pursuing. As this progression continues, the achiever’s
self-expectation AND self-image strengthens.
And self-image is THE single-most influential, guiding and defining factor in all human
performance.
2.
KEEP SCORE! Put up a chart on the wall in which your teen
is asked to WRITE “Yes or No,” achieved or not, or a mark or number – whatever
makes sense. Be absolutely assured that
this is a very effective mode of drawing attention. Basic rule of business which directly applies
here: What gets measured - gets attention!
Can you imagine how motivating it is for
someone to FAIL to achieve the goal they said they were proud of pursuing and
achieving? INEVITABLY, if it truly was
important to them, they will re-commit the next week – and probably the week
after, and so on - and that’s what we’re after!! And here’s where you’ll know you hit a
home run – when they say to you – “I’m gonna bump it up higher this week!”
Try it out, keep score of achievements
and progression – and watch them grow!
